Growing Old Is Not for Sissies.
After the deaths of my father and my dog Samba, my mother had a minor stroke. All this within two years. My father had Parkinson’s the last 15 years of his life, Samba was on meds for seizures and my mother takes all kinds of pills but her stroke came totally unexpected. Watching all three, I learned that getting old and being sick is not for the faint-hearted. Or as Mae West aptly put it ‘Growing old is not for sissies!’.
When we are older disease creeps into our lives, first as gentle dis-ease and soon major adjustments have to be made to deal with illness. One illness often doesn’t come alone, they multiply. The snowball is running and cannot be stopped. The old have to give in and adjust. They get slower, walk slower, sleep a lot, forget more, feel awkward and out of control. They get frustrated with the situation and at the prospect that it will only get worse.
Better to be a dog in the situation, as dogs know no expectations nor regret. Humans ask themselves, if and how they could have prevented this. Some are lucky, have strong bodies and live healthily until they die. Others suffer. Nobody wants to suffer, but we can do little about it to prevent it. In the end, we are all at the mercy of how our cards are stacked.
Some stay fit, walk a lot, challenge themselves, but might develop a problem with their eyes. Others don’t like to move and then have a stroke. None of it really makes sense nor is there a cause and effect. And once it has happened, it is too late anyway. The only hope is to rehabilitate back to a livable state and not to loose too much independence.
Most old people are at the mercy of others to help them with their daily lives. What they easily could manage themselves is taken out of their hands. They are loosing control and instead the disease is running their lives. If they are lucky, they still have their wit or have people advocate for them. Or they made prior arrangements about where and how they would like to live once they need constant care. Most of us don’t want to think about it as if denial will prevent the inevitable from happening. Few know about to what extent their health insurance will cover elderly care, if they should get more insurance for that and how much a good home for the elderly costs. We all know it costs a lot and that poverty at old age is rampant. Social systems for the elderly vary from country to country.
Some countries have implemented new and innovative ways to harvest the wisdom of old people. Denmark developed communities, where the old live with the young and with families, who are not their own. The community cooks and eats together once a week, all social gatherings are voluntary but are cherished by all, as it turns out. In the US, some toddler kindergardens are placed in retirement homes. What a great idea and benefitting all involved.
Growing up, I heard of old people buying cat food. Now, I know that it drastic, but it might get you to think about what you have in place for your old age. Also, there should be a record of all-important items (medication list, insurance papers, list of doctors, friends etc.) somewhere prominent for your family, in case you get hit by an illness so fast that there is no more time for arrangements. Power of attorneys should be in place as well as a will, an executor should be appointed and arrangements made for your burial. People think it’s morbid to be prepared, actually it will make things smoother for you and your family when the day comes. Everyone can then concentrate on getting better or saying goodbye without worries of costs, insurances and last wishes. It is the single best gift you can give to your loved ones.
Until then, I hope it is in our cards to live a healthy and long life.